just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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