Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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