Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
