He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
