Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
