ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
this just has baby written all over it
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
