dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
