My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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