He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
