True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize