You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
