Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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