Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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