I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
