whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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