are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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