'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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