just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize