Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I cockslap morals
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize