I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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