Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
