There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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