can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize