I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
