I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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