got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I didn't notice because vodka
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
