bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
