Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She said her name was "party"
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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