I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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