C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
