Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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