I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So much Jack, so little girl.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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