508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
