Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
