She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
