I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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