Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
