Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
