3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
