your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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