That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
