Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
