i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
