Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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