An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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