I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
