i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
whose parrot is this?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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