I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
