you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
