Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
