Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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