Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
