I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
should my penis look like a turkey
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Randomize
