we're blogging at a bar
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
