nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i will never coherently bang her
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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