naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
