what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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