just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
