He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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