I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
