I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
